I Big!

Chucky Sue has been speaking in short sentences for a while now. She has a few phrases that she repeats over and over again.

"I okay mommy!"

 "Apple Drink P(l)ease"

and her newest: 

"I big!"

Yes little one, you are so big!

Chucky Sue made the bed all by herself.

She has a big girl bed! One good klunk from trying to escape her crib means time to upgrade. She did okay the first night in- I check on her around 9 and she was asleep in a pile of wipes by her changing table (the one thing I forgot to check before putting her down!)  and when she woke up she went right to playing. Currently it's nap time and I can hear her playing with her kitchen, but she's being quiet so we're happy!

So  tell me, when did this little thing

turn into this loud funny beautiful girl?

Happy Birthday Chucky Sue!

Let's just move past the complete and utter disbelief that my little teeny weeny preemie is now a big strong TWO YEAR OLD, and go into a party recap shall we?

can't believe she's TWO!

sorry, that one slipped out.

The party was just a family affair, I'm not quite ready for friend parties yet- let me get used to doing all this for people who are stuck with me no matter what!! I apologize for the iphone photo quality, I had planned to use our point and shoot, but it died the morning of the party! We're looking into quickly solving that problem. (Remember you can click on any photo to make it bigger!)

The decorations were fairly simple- pink and purple balloons, rainbow colored pasta layered in glasses, and a pinkie pie on my chalkboard. I covered our table with butcher paper and had crayons out so the kids (and silly grown ups) could color on it.

I also made a crayon melted rainbow thingy. I had wanted one for her room for a while, so for about $5 I made this as a dual purpose decoration!

Coloring the pasta was a lot easier than I thought. A few tutorials on Pinterest had me worried about finding time to heat up the pasta to keep the color from bleeding. But after a few tries, I found that mixing the pasta with food coloring and a touch of vinegar then letting it dry completely before playing with it was just fine. Chucky Sue has played with the rice a few times since the party and unless she truly slobbers all over it, she comes out of it clean as she went in.

nice bright colors, forgot to put purple in before snapping the pic though!

This cake. Oh. This. Cake. Jake has been hearing about this cake since AUGUST. That's when I first joined Pinterest and saw my first rainbow cake. (There are so many of them on there now!) I spent about 5 hours over two days making this dang thing and I was very pleased with the results. It was my first time using anything but buttercream to decorate a cake. I rolled the fondant a little too thin because you can see the blue and purple layers through the white- but I covered it up with all the other decorations. Coloring the white fondant was easier than I expected. The internet experts had warned me that adding liquid to the fondant would just make it a horrible sticky mess. I was able to color them just fine by adding a little powdered sugar and kneading the dough a lot.

The pony toys are from Wal-Mart, they were perfect for my pony obsessed little girl. I didn't fancy having to make my own pony out of modeling chocolate. I just used a little frosting to hold down each statue (yeah we bought a lot- we gave them out as favors and They happen to be my favorite MLP toys.)

Rainbow Dash chilling with Rarity and Gardenia Glow

Then came in the inside of the cake- that's what took the longest, baking two layers at a time took a lot longer than just baking two 9 inch cakes. The cake was delicious, it didn't dry out even though it was baked two days ahead of time. The fondant was nasty to eat, but I put a lot of icing between the layers and on the dirty ice layer so it wouldn't be all play dough tasting.

with a side of rainbow sherbet!

All in all, we had a great time! Chucky Sue absolutely loves her cousins. She even shared her toys pretty well with Dorita (seen here trying to climb up the popular slide.) We played apples to apples, pin the tail on the pony and just chatted. The food was nothing spectacular, just a buffet of Chucky Sue's favorite foods- hot dogs, gold fish, chips, pickles, apple juice and cheese! I got what I wanted out the party- Chucky Sue's face lighting up at everyone who came, playing with her new toys and eating a giant piece of cake!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Graduation

This update is about Miss Chucky-Sue

I walked into the NICU this morning and had a heart attack, Chucky-Sue's isolette spot was empty. The monitors were off, there was no nurse. Cue freaking out like MAD. I ran to Angelina's nurse and asked where she was. Thankfully, she had just been graduated to a more stable "pod" of babies!

She's off all her IV fluids! The only wires on her now are the heart/lung/temp monitors and a feeding tube through her nose. Her job right now is to learn to take either my breast or bottle without getting tired, gain weight and control her temperature a little better.

I was able to snuggle with her for a few hours before coming back to the RMH for lunch and rest. (I did spend some time with Angelina too- her situation is generally the same.) We attempted to feed again. She latches somewhat (She seems to understand the idea behind it at least), but she gets tired after a few tries and falls asleep.

She sleeps like her mommy though, with her hands above her head. It's weird to see what little mannerisms she already has at such a young age!

I cannot believe these little ones are four days old. The days and hours have seemed to blend together, I could swear up and down that it's only Tuesday. I've noticed a strange blessing through this trial, I'm less afraid to talk to strangers, whether it be nurses, or other mothers in the milk lounge. I've met two other mothers who've been very nice to me, Nikkita showed me how the milk lounge was set up, what I'd need to bring etc. and Now, Chucky-Sue is near her little girl Regina. There was another family from RMH that have been very nice- I ate lunch with them and we compared how hard it's been (They have a little girl who was born at the same gestational age as ours.). I think finding these small blessings have helped tremendously, otherwise I'd be drowning in the horribleness.

Mommy's Discharge

The day has come that I am not looking forward to, leaving the hospital for the Ronald  McDonald House.

I know I'll really be no further away than I am now, and that I'll still be able to see the girls anytime, but the idea of leaving the hospital without them is far more painful than any stomach pain I've been having. It's a block away, there's a hourly shuttle from 7am to 6pm, I should be able to see the girls as much as I do now.

Last night the patient in the room next door was trying to soothe her little boy, hearing him cry just about tore me up. I cannot wait until the day when I have at LEAST one of my babies in my room, to hold, cuddle and be with whenever I want. (Having both with me would be unimaginably amazing.)

Angelina handled her first major surgery very well yesterday, she's definitely still under the medication, she's very still whenever we visit. After the colostomy has healed up, we should be able to hold her again, so right now kisses and hand holding will have to suffice. They keep weaning her off the breathing tube, but then keep it in in-case she has another surgery. Even so, the nurses keep praising how well she could breathe, so that's not anyone's worry. Hopefully after the first "Team Meeting" today  we'll have a set time-table for her upcoming surgeries.

Chucky-Sue got major cuddling yesterday, I held her from 3 till a bit after 6. I changed her diaper (They have to fold preemie diapers in half to fit her tiny little waist!) and got to try actual breastfeeding. She's still too young to have a very strong sucking reflex/impulse/whatever you call it, but she understood the basic principles of it. The nurses have also taught me and Jake some soothing techniques for her, as she gets VERY fussy about all the tubes and wires on her face. It was torture watching them put a feeding tube through her nose, but at the same time, I felt wonderful when I was able to calm her down afterwards. Then before Jake and I went to bed at 10, Jake was able to hold her under her blue-light thing. (Which she should be off in the next few days, her jaundice wasn't very bad to begin with, and she's mastered pooping. She got THAT talent from her Daddy.)

We want to thank everyone for their prayers, calls, letters and emails. They've been so helpful for us. (Special thank you to Jaime and Kate who's been getting me in contact with local members who may be able to help, We're meeting the local RS president today.) I want to let you all know, that in term of baby "stuff" we don't need much until they are discharged. The hospital has been great providing a lot of things. We (well, more me than Jake.) need breastfeeding accessories like nursing pads and milk storage, and Jake may need a few meals while he's in Our Town during the week. I also LOVE visitors and showing off the babies, so if anyone is willing and able to visit, feel free to call or email me and set it up.

I'll leave you off here with a few photos.





Chucky-Sue, sans breathing stuff!


our little sunbather


Angelina the night before her surgery, this photo, and the one above of Chucky-Sue show how much they look alike. (still no news on their identicalness, but that's not high priority at all.)

Valentines Day

So.

I had planned to blog about my parent's trip down for Valentine's day weekend. I even took photos of our full freezer and new baby swag, but something has come up that I think you readers want to know about more!

I woke up 2 am on sunday in a pool of water on our bed, after waking up Jake I called UVA's labor and delivery and they sent me to Our Town's Community Hospital to be checked and then get transported to UVA. We packed up our bags real quick, called family and got ourselves to the hopsital.

Once there, they checked me and I had dilated to 3cm. It wasn't until after I got to the hospital that I started to have contractions. They gave me medicine to slow them down, they also gave me antibiotics and a steroid shot to help the babies lungs are much as possible.

Around 4 I got on the ambulance with two OB nurses and we took off for UVA. We made very good time, got there in less than two hours, but my contractions had gotten stronger and weren't getting farther apart. The nurses said I was humming and singing through them, I don't remember much apart from OW OW OW.

At UVA, they checked me again and I had gotten to 5cm, at that point it is nearly impossible to slow/stop labor enough to have any positive effect on the babies. Jake, his parents and my parents all arrived shortly after 8am. At 9:06, I was rolled into the OR to be prepped.

I had a spinal block, which just felt like my whole lower body just got pins and needles and then fell asleep. It worked so well that when they called Jake in (with his handsome blue unitard) I didn't know when they actually started the surgery. Every once in a while it felt like a sandbag was on my chest, but I didn't feel any pain. I did get sick from the medicines, and it happened just as they got Chucky-Sue out, so I only remember the poor girl I got sick on. Chucky-Sue did give me a scare, as she didn't start to cry right away, but she caught up quickly. Jake got to take photos as they examined both babies, and then was allowed to hold them before they went into the NICU. I was able to give them kisses and watch Jake hold them before they were whisked away for more tests.

Then Jake has his own story about following the babies to the NICU and being with them. I was taken to a recovery room, where I got to try to move my toes for four hours. I wasn't allowed out into my room until I could move my knees to get into my own bed. I now know why the nurses were so gruff about me moving, it's definitely helped me feel better faster and be able to go down  and visit in the NICU.

And that's all it took for me to turn into a Mom.

a mom.


wow.

10 Things I learned Today.

1. 2:00 am is early.
2. Prayer can make it snow so I don't have to fly in a helicopter.
3. Jake is good at faking being calm.
4. I am good at actually being calm.
5. I could never be a nurse, they are far too patient and kind.
6. Two babies are cuter than one.
7. Just remembering Jake holding the girls can make me cry.
8. Saltines can be a FEAST after not eating for 24+ hours.
9. They don't make small enough preemie diapers for babies.
10. Even through all the wires, tubes, sensors and tape, these girls are the most gorgeous things I've ever seen in my life.



Little Angelina just a minute or so old.



Robo-Baby is CUTE. :)

I'll be writing up a full in detail what happened, just wanted to do something quick and fun tonight :)

Babies Update

Yesterday Jake and I spent the day at doctor appointments at UVA for the little ones.

First up, a regular ob/gyn appointment for me. I'm healthy, happy, blood pressure is great, my stomach is HUGE. I was measuring at 40-41 weeks along (So if this was a singleton, I'd be DONE.) All we're waiting on is the results from my 3 hour GD test, but I can get those on my thursday appointment in Big City.

Then on to the fetal echocardiogram. It was amazing to see how much bigger their hearts have gotten in a month. There's been no changes, Chucky-Sue's heart is fine, Angelina's heart has an unlabeled single ventricle heart defect. Because of her uncooperative position they couldn't get a good view of the arteries and where they lead off to. The doctors are just trying to find out as much as possible before the birth, preparation is key to plan the surgeries- no one wants a surprise during surgery. The cardiologist is very happy that Angelina's heart is reactive, it rose when they got her mad with the ultrasound wand, and lowered when she fell asleep. It looks like it's a bad situation, but the best conditions this bad situation could have. (if that makes any sense?)

Last was our very long ultrasound. (Basically everyone in UVA saw me on a table with my shirt up and belly covered in sonic gel.) Chucky-Sue is a little chub-a-lub, she's measuring 5lb 1oz, with major chipmunk cheeks. Angelina is about the same length, but much skinner, she's at 3lb 9oz. She likes to keep her feet and hands by her face, so we didn't get a great look there. the tech and the doctor both commented on how much hair both babies have- I'm glad they got my hair genes ;) again, Angelina's scrunched up position made it difficult to see all the organs, they saw adrenal glands, but no clear cut picture of kidneys or bladder, but still there has to be SOMETHING, as Evelyn still has fluid around her. My Big City doctors are will be starting the non-stress tests after my appointments now, to make sure the low fluid around Angelina isn't affecting her too much.

So all in all, no new news is very good news. I have another appointment with them in a month, to hammer out details of the leg/bladder/kidney surgery(ies?) and the actual birth. (as it's looking to little Miss Diva Chucky-Sue is perfectly happy hanging out in a breech or transverse positions, she's pushed Angelina into a tiny scrunched ball under my right ribs)

It was great to see how big they are, and marvel at how much they move, jiggle and jump in there. They are a wonderful, miraculous blessing and we cannot wait to see them :)

Lifestyles of a Human Oven.

I know you've all been on the edge of your seats waiting to hear from lil ole me. :)

My UVA appointment went well. We met my OB/GYN team, the Pediatric Cardiologist and the NICU doctors/nurses. Jake, Grandma and I got to take a tour of the NICU and the PICU (The NICU sends any heart patients to the PICU during recovery, it's also where Evelyn will go for any future surgeries)

After meeting and talking with all these medical professionals, I've come to a conclusion about doctors:

They charge you a lot of money to say "I don't know, we'll have to wait and see." They can't tell me anything definite about the leg/lower surgeries, as they've never dealt with it before. They couldn't tell me a definite amount of heart surgeries because the heart reacts differently to each surgery. They couldn't tell me how long Angelina would be in the NICU as everyone recovers differently, and they may or may not be able to do the actual surgery when they want, etc. etc. etc. Basically too many variables for anyone to plan anything. So that means we have to plan for everything!

Heartwise, Angelina is doing remarkably well for her problems. The doctor didn't notice a whole lot of stress or a lesser blood volume in the heart. However they still couldn't tell which artery went where (to the lungs or to the body) because she has such a strange anatomy. We do know it will be at least two corrective surgeries, possibly three. Even with these surgeries she'll still need to limit her physical activity and be a bit more careful than the average person while exercising. Fun little fact, that until she has her last heart surgery, she'll be a bit blue because of the mixing of oxygen rich blood with carbon dioxide blood. "Our little Smurf" Jake has decided to call her.

The doctors have decided that they much prefer me to go into labor and then do a c-section if necessary (I could go naturally, but baby A would have to decide to move head down, and that doesn't look like it's happening!) They want to let them both grow as much as possible before taking them out. This could change if Angelina's fluids get dangerously low, but she's been pretty good so far with 7cm of fluid instead of the normal 10cm, but it's not an emergency till it gets down to 5cm.

The next UVA appointment is on the 8th of Feb, where I get to have my 506932th ultrasound! Hopfully we'll have more about the kidneys and legs then!

After the UVA trip, Jake and I started to pack up our ever-expanding pile of stuff. We have about 100 million books, enough clothes to stretch from here to california, and more dishes than I know what to do with. (I still can't part with my crepe maker!) How do two people collect so much STUFF? None of it we're able to easily part with. (Why yes, I do need a box full of souvenirs from my Paris/Nancy trip. No I will not throw away my metro tickets or music box.) Half the time I'm tempted to just throw it all away and start over in the new apartment.

As painful as packing is (I can't reach the floor, so often I get to ask Jake to pick something up so I could put it in a box. He's not as amused.) I'm very excited to get our apartment ready for the babies. And to have a washer and dryer. I may be more excited for that than the nursery.

In general news, I've gotten huge. And just when I think I can't get any huger, POP the babies grow and make me feel like I'm stealing lead filled basketballs. They are both very very active, Chucky-Sue (the lower Baby A) likes to do barrel rolls and somersaults, while Angelina is perfectly content to give me heartburn and kick my lungs. (I've noticed she kicks more when I talk more, is she already telling me to shut up??) Other than th stretching pains of being a giant, I feel good! I'm not as stressed about the babies as I was last month, both the doctors and church has helped me calm down and see the bigger picture(s). Now If I can just survive moving, I think we'll be all set for the home stretch to April!!

Lately...

There's been some recent events that have had my mind swimming with questions. After getting some troubling news, my mind went somewhere I would have never guessed- to a young women's sunday lesson. I remember vaguely learning about talents. Our presidency had gotten our parents to write down what they believed their child's talents were. I remember wishing I had a more "outward" talent like my friends. Some were amazing at sports, or very musically gifted. Others were very intellegent or creative. I remember one of the talents my parents wrote down for me was Peace Maker, that in social situations (specially school) I didn't continue fights and I'd tried to be inclusive with everyone. This is a talent I'm proud to have and I treasure it, but at 15 it's not as cool as being able to shoot 100% at the three point line or sight-read terribly hard music.

My mind also went to 3rd grade, my favorite elementary school year. I had an amazing teacher Mrs. Gray and some great close friends. I also remembered one boy. His name was Cory and he had some sort of physical and mental disability. (At 8 years old it didn't matter much what it exactly was) He was a perfect sweetheart and I remember trying hard to include him in everything. Not out of social guilt which I think some adults are prone to, not because I was asked to befriend him, but because I liked him. He was funny, kind and I wanted to be his friend.

I was kind of surprised at these thoughts, at the surface they have very little to do with the news I recieved. They were distant memories, long buried by time and hadn't changed my life in any significant way I could see. But after mulling them over, and lots lots lots lots and looots of praying, I am beginning to see a string through all three events.

We found out at the most recent ultrasound on friday that Baby B most likely has a serious heart defect and possibly an extremely rare birth defect called Sirenomelia or "Mermaid Syndrome". His/Her legs do not move independantly of each other and are most likely fused together. It affects 1 in about 100,000 births, and even more so in twins. The extent of either medical problem is currently unknown because of the low quality ultrasound at my previous doctor's appointment. On Friday I switched up to a OB practice in Big City that is directly across the street from the hospital. I'll soon be seeing a pediatric cardiologist for a fetal echocardiogram as well as high-risk ultrasound specialists. Hopefully within the next week or two we'll have more information on the exact diagonsis for both the heart and legs. Thankfully both babies are growing at the right rate, have good weights and everything else looks like it should. (I'll be sure to keep this blog updated for faraway friends and family.)

After the inital freaking out, crying, distraught, and overwhelmed feelings, my mind when to those two memories. At that time it actually annoyed me that my mind could think of anything else but the poor child, but now I think I understand. Heavenly Father was reminding me that he had prepared me for this long ago, in very small and simple ways. He gave me a loving and accepting heart, He sent me to a strong family, most of whom in their own ways have dealt with children with a wide variety of problems, He has given me their experience and advice. He's given Baby B a strong, loving, and protective sister (Baby A). He has everything planned out for us and thanks to these seemingly random memories, I believe I've seen a glimpse of it.